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July 15

Para-noir

[Unknown Woman:]
I fuck you because you're famous.
I fuck you for your money.
I fuck you to control you.
I fuck you so someday I can have half of everything you own.
I fuck you to fuck you over.
I fuck you 'til I find someone better.
I fuck you in secret.
I fuck you because I can't remember if I already fucked you before.
I fuck you out of boredom.
I fuck you because I can't feel it anyway.
I fuck you to make the pain go away.

[Manson:]
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do.
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do.
HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.

[Unknown Woman:]
I fuck you so I can feel something instead of nothing at all.
I fuck you because you're beautiful.
I fuck you because you're my nigger.
I fuck you because I am your whore.
I fuck you because you are a whore.
I fuck you for fun.
I fuck you for fun.
I fuck you because I can.
I fuck you so I have a place to stay.
I fuck you so you will protect me.

[Manson:]
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
Fuck you because I loved you
Fuck you for loving you too
I don't need a reason to hate you the way I do
HATE YOU THE WAY I DO.
June 28

i m so bored.....

i'm so bored
i can't think of anything to do
i'm so bored
i can't think of anything that's new

there's dishes in the sink
but still i'm bored
the dog's begging for scraps
but still i'm bored
the cat box must be changed
but still i'm bored
i'm so bored, i'm so bored, i'm so bored

i'm so bored
my thoughts are leaking out my pores
i'm so bored
my thoughts are all leaking out my pores

the garage needs cleaning
but still i'm bored
the mail box is full
but still i'm bored
the cupboards are all empty
but still i'm bored
i'm so bored, i'm so bored, i'm so bored

i'm so bored
my mind is working in reverse
i'm so bored
my thoughts are all so terse

there's a solar eclipse on tv
but still i'm bored
the irs want's to audit me
but still i'm bored
there's a knock on my front door
but still i'm bored
i'm so bored, i'm so bored, i'm so bored

i'm so bored
my fingers are getting numb
i'm so bored
my ass is getting numb

the laundry piles are huge
but still i'm bored
the lawn looks like a jungle
but still i'm bored
there's a monkey in my bedroom
but still i'm bored
i'm so bored, i'm so bored, i'm so bored
June 26

do i need a shrink? (unedited) part:67

god, plz make my life better
god, plz make my life better
god, plz make my life better
shut up u morons, get away from me!
ok, whatever, who cares, as if i give a fuck to what u think!
no, seriously dude, i dont know, and i dont understand that stuff....
punjabi rappers suck big time, rockers do more!
i hate all delhites.. except sonam obviously...
admit it dude, she has one big fat ass..
want to see an interracial lesbian pair? come to my college
excuse me, do you think our assholes look alike?
password? i forgot my password....WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PASSWORD?
Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, she didn't just say what I think she did, did she?
that was the most amazing week in my entire life, and i wont forget it ever...
haDacha khuLakhuLa aNi bolaNyacha tuNatuNa..
dear dave, thanks for the support, ASSHOLE!
dude, i know its a fake profile, and i know U r operating it..
i m scared of tutorials
salma, could u not wait for just one more year? let me atleast complete this damn degree...
yea u heard it right u cocksucker, i want cocaine as toppings!
sssshhhhh, chinmay, u will be remembered as a heavy abuser!
i hate pink
ok, yea, may be, sure, definitely, positive dude, yes sir, affirmative, i think i will do it, most probably i think i m sure.....
there was something between us, were we just friends, or were we in relationship, or was it a true love or was it just a one night stand?
"dude, do u blog?""no, i suck blood, and urs taste awful"
having mustaches has its own benefits, like even if u have a leaky nose, ppl tend to think its just sweat!
who let the gujjus out? who? who? who?
i m gay and i vote!
and there she stood, wearing nothing, but the same old mischievous smile on her face....
yea i stole it u bitch..... so what?
i dont ask for doesnt mean i dont want....
all girls are either having lukkha bfs or they are turning lesbians.. no one is noticing me!!
ok fine... keep ur mobile to urself, dickhead...
arey what chinmay? what chinmay everytime? what is this faltugiri?
boss, tu jitna chutiya dikhata hai, utana hi chutiya tu hai!
if she is to be paired with him, i should get paired with my ideal match!
stop clapping u bastards, u r killing me!
gold is not gold anymore, fishes are not fishes anymore..
tiger should not only retire, he should be stabbed 93 times, burnt alive and buried 15 feet under
if i had one wish, i would ask for a big enough ass for the whole world to kiss...
i m perfectly normal.

May 12

red and black

i was going to the college... i saw some goats tied outside a shop... must be some ritual today....
i was standing on 4th floor of our college.. some guy was taking a cock to some place.. was it dead? i dont think so... why would have he taken effort to hold him by his wings and neck ... he would have simply carried it in bag...
i was going home.. there was a temple on the way.. crap festivals... crap gods... i dont understand how they come up with so many weired gods and names and such crap rituals.. there was a blood pond in front of temple...blood on tracks.. blood on steps... blood on road...feathers and flesh on steps.. in gutter.. on wastes.... faces seemed happy....
ppl were still going by the same road, trying to avoid blood pond.. stepping on dried blood... covering their noses... disgusted looks at feathers and flesh......
they must have faced painful death. they must have enjoyed a meal. rocks dont have feelings.

i saw spiderman3 today. popcorn was good.
the movie is about exploring the darker side of a superhero. its about how bad things can change ur life. oh does it? really?
the evil spirit forces hero to do bad things... the spirit is a clear metaphor ... his hair, eyes, clothes, costume...
but was he really bad? or he was just playing fair? why a-supposed-to-be-nice-guy ALWAYS has to be nice? why bad is not good? why only good should suffer? what should he do when good is not good enough for ppl around?
i liked the darker hero... he isn't bad... its darker side.. everyone has it... but we r not suppose to show it to world... why? because its not good... but its not bad either...
after all its a comic strip.. they had to end dark... with some crap super-non-sense reason.... the target audience was children... they needed U/A certificate..
btw, even harry wore black.

Hail Hitler!
January 28

RETROSPECTING 3 1/2 YEARS

this is about my life in my engg coll.

first things first, why did i took admission to this coll? ok, i got low score in 12th, 265 out of 300.in pcm which is considered too low in maharashtra. that too for mumbai university. that too for engg. that too for extc. that too for my batch. ok enough of "that too"s. so, after the disaster, god had given me one life-time opportunity to take admission in rgit comps.(btw i could have been with my only sathaye crush, but i m dumb. (u can guess why). so i missed both (comps and crush) and landed up in kjsieit (or "kjsiit" as they call it)......

thats true that i had a low score, but did i deserved this college? may be yes, i had proved myself dumb rejecting rgit. why only this coll, i could have got admission in jondhale(btw i could have been with abhishek, my school friend) but it had reasons not to join.....so finally we cancelled our admission in rgit (dumbest move in life, hey bhagawan why u didnt gave me a single little hint?) and landed up in kjsieit.


sem1:
i was glad i was with my school crush, ok fine lets see. it was all scary at that time.... everyone scared us about the mech and not getting kt in first year... so we(specially i) started hard working.... taking each and everything seriouly, even reading while copying from tushar (a great help). doing all practs, attending all lects, life was busy. hey where was crush? anyway, lets see, 4 more years to go.
somewhere deep inside(not the stomach) told me that i could do it now what i couldnt in past 10 years..... (i take life positively) tried to talk to her, but hell no scope. she didnt attended coll only.
papers were good....what was the big fuss about mech? damn.... i should thank that prof!


sem2:
ok, so we were back together again... were we? i could hardly remember anyones names, so tried to listen to other ppls conversations and figure their names out.....(thats the way i generally do it) so kept mum for most of the time.the same crap was happening...lects, practs, seriousness........
results were out, and i topped, what the fuck? i topped. crap!! shweta, trupti or tushar should have done it, anyway let it be. i was getting used to ppl pointing at me 'doorse'. ok, being clever pays atleast somewhere......
the same old crap was going on, days after days, months after months, sis was busy with her work(one more reason to be popular), ok let the fucking exam come, i m ready(too overconfident i get sometimes) without studying.
i must have written all corrrect, at least ppl say i always do....(fuck them all)


sem3:
so finally i must have overcome the biggest obstacle of engg(as all dumb ppl believe) and must have passed the first year successfully. life was ok, same crap but a little less interest.
so results were out and i wasnt topper(thank god) but was topper overall (why cant god give entire good package?) ok so i was scholar (so called)again... ppl started calling me topper...(may be they didnt rememberd my name now, and i had not even met them, so no question of names, going by "yaar" and "dost"). fine it was started to feel good to be known.....
i dont remember much of academic. was caring less... who cares, afterall i was a topper. with everyone praising me.......all had started a bit isolating me, i was a scholar, i was genius...i could answer all questions, WHAT THE FUCK? let it be; i was getting popular! who cares....
i had started trying my hands on some robotics stuff....its pretty exciting field.... but no one from the college was much interested, so after a couple of events i gave up!
btw, my crush had some 4-5 kts out of 10, she didnt show up after 2nd sem... i had a broken heart ........again! :(
somehow i managed to finish studies in time and exam was given, papers pretty ok.


sem4:
the results were out even before the sem started. ok i had scored about above 75, even i didnt believe it. so more praise and more isolation. groups were already formed, for all ppl i was topper, the only topper, fuck man....somebody take it easy...
now i had started to realise who were from extc, and from A and from B etc. but fuck, in kjsieit u never get to be happy!! there was a notice that said classes were changed! so, i had started keeping mum again....u know why!
but sem4 turned out to be some kind of milestone ..... and guess what, the reason was satish basa!! i was taking notes (as usual, during lect) he was sitting next to me and asked me,"yeh tu likhata hai, kabhi padhata hai kya?" so i thought.... i thought and thought and thought....(retrospecting within retrospection!(this word too i learned in pct)) but could not remember a single occassion where i had opened my notebook, even once! not even during exam! so i quit taking notes (satish baba ki jay ho).
sem4 was pretty ok, studied in last month, and gave the papers!


sem5:
dont remember when the results were out.....but they were out! once again 74, its ok.... i m used to it now! fuck, i dont care anymore..... and yes, sis passed with a first class!
again praise followed. topper became my middle name... without considering the fact that modi topped the sem after revaluation, people still called me topper.... dumb assholes!

but there was only one exception, koduru! he knew that i study only in last month.....(a sigh of relief). the other ppl were busy with their groups and all.... i used to be with krishnan... did i told u they changed our class AGAIN?
nothing special happened in 5th sem...... i got involved in techfest(a major failure). was thinking i can do it...... and i tried my best (or worst?) there i found another friend... dalton(a gem) and bhavesh! we were together to most of the places. i tell u, dalton is like that some king in history book(mohammad tughalk i guess) who had some creative ideas but could not get them into practical world...he has a lot of potential but the time and fate always beat him.
why do we need probability? this is most fuckall topic ever invented....... no practical use and fuckall theorms it has! so got stuck with maths5....and yea, had a comp at home, so kept playing games and all (how childish) and yes, university changed the paper pattern this year, 4 days for each paper, isnt it cool? so i can do tp in pl, great! i can study any time before exam...... afterall i had done it for 4 sems....
papers were quite horrible.... maths 5 sucks man.... i wasted 2 days before each paper and they were showing "nach baliye" episodes back to back before maths5...(dude, i still miss shilpa!!(or whatever that guys wifes name was) :( ) fingers crossed about maths5!! (dude i really tell u, even akash jain had all correct answers which i failed to tally with mine(he got 40 later)). i guess i gave too much importance to games on stupid comp....lets see


sem6:
why i dont remember the start of any sem......fuck however it was must be pretty same, classes changed, assignments, attendence, every sem looks same at this time...or m i getting used to this crap?

whatever, found a great guy, saurabh majumdar (a really great help). stays near me, santacruz. helped a lot in all notes and all asssignments.. hes damn clever too! does all the practicals by himself, i really dont understand why so good people get less marks? bhagawan ki marzi, aur kya!
results were out.. a great relief to hear, i had cleared maths5, 68 percentage... not bad considering the efforts i had put into it. pretty happy, but ppl still cant get over with me being a topper. ppl still expected me to solve their queries and explain them some stuff...... i kept saying "yes i will " knowing truellly i never will. why should i? no one helped me in maths5. fuck them all. and who cares? i dont want to be a topper, just live and let live ppl......
more into robotics, did couple of good projects, ok fine, thats all. but overall was started caring less about the college, and more; avoiding it.... who needs a college where no-one wants to befriend u and keeps on saying "tu to kya, kar lega". i m honest, the first thing that comes to my mind when i hear those words is the way how to kill the person who says it ranging from simple throwing the person out of building to using divider in hand in innovative ways!

the bullshit takes a lot of time to complete man....most of the time i managed to skip the college under techfest reasons, but really didnt want to go to college. comp was pretty good, had an internet connection, orkut was quite cool site! was getting addicted to it..... like logging in for 6-7 times a day and play really stupid(and dumb) games on different communities.... sometimes the same games on multiple
communities..... it was quite interesting!(at that time) it was really hard to study when u have full dedication to the posts and ppl on different communities..... fuck these exams r goig to be damn difficult.
papers were better than expectation......considering the time given to orkut.. they were ok.... prp still sucks man... i hate probability!


sem7:
i really dont remember..... i mean, it must be same usual stuff, kind of boring, and me trying to avoid it and all.... but i was getting irritated. i was annoyed at any silliest of things that involved college..... i didnt wanted to study at all! i told this home, first they thought i was just kidding, but after few more attempts, they were ok. the thing was really getting creepy.... i mean whats the point in being at the place where i dont want to be, being with ppl i dont want to be with, doing the things i dont want to....... i m getting frustrated, sometimes i even thought i need a shrink, even tried to visit one of them, but he wasnt at his place (good or bad?) the world started to seem like everything is forcing me, i wasnt doing anything but wasting my time......its ok if i only waste time (afterall its been 21 years now) but getting irritated at the same time is a bit frustrating!
forget the crap.. herat was now in my neighbourhood, (a great friend till date) so i had all rights to annoy this guy any time, he never minds it. the rest of the ppl were same old crap..... the "tu to kya" tape would never end. but my imagination improved and was thinking of importing some WMDs from saddam or bush.
and yea, meanwhile having a constant failure at GDs i finally managed to get into accenture(in which i wanted to be in (u can ask dipesh lakhani)). quite a simple selection it was.... i dont understand why people fear aptitude test?
had a tough time with submission, vivas and papers........ got ill doing that, hell who cares? fuck the submission and vivas. lets see, studied a bit, most on day before the exams, papers were ok, fingers crossed for mdc!
and yea, i forgot, we had a project for final year, chinar and samir r great guys.... they do the entire work, me and jitesh just doing tp... but i was the dumbest and illiterate about the project.... all 3 knew many more things in better way than me, may god forgive me! project report was also done in time(this thing deserves another blog), and we were through! the other 3 guys have been a really great help and would never forget being with them.


sem8:
dont know thing about college, not been there. results out, 68.5... not bad again
i have to give GATE on 11th and m still on ground zero.
i just dont want to go to college, i think i dont need to explain.

so its still one sem remaining.... and i want to bunk the entire sem; but i know i wont be able to do it, lets see how much i succeed..
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Updated 2/22/2007
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chinmay kulkarni

this is chinmay, and everything on this page is chinmay...